Why does size matter???

Ladies and gentleman, I've witnessed what I perceive to be a pretty sad sight today...Today I had the privilege of touring Utah County's Community Action Center as a United Way Representative. Anyway, the details of what I saw on the tour are irrelevant, I'm just setting the stage of where I was. While waiting for our group tour, I stood near three young women who were chattering and getting to know one another. After a few minutes of conversation one of the girls delightedly shouted at the girl next to her, "Oh my gosh I LOVE your ring!" The girl wearing said ring replied, "Thank you! I love it too..." And this is where things got uncomfortable and somewhat low...Of course, with the mention of wedding rings, each of the three girls began looking at their rings. "Crazy!" Shouted the girl who liked the other girl's ring. "We basically have the same ring!" Both girls held out their left hand and sized each other's diamonds up...The girl who first mentioned rings continued, "Yeah! See? We basically have the same ring except my band and diamond are bigger." Somewhat shocked at her comment, I looked at each of the girls' rings. Indeed, the two girls' rings were quite similar but the white gold band on one of the girls' rings was 1. Wider (therefore covering more of her finger) 2. Had a diamond that was slightly bigger and 3. Had additional small diamonds added along the band. Big bling girl held her hand out like royalty and asked the girl with the similar (and smaller) ring where she got her ring. Surprise! It was from the same place! "BUT!" Added the Big bling girl, "I got my ring custom made." Seriously, I wanted to slap this girl. Slowly, the girl with the lesser ring's face changed to irritated and somewhat awkward. What made it worse was that girl number three who was innocently standing in on the conversation got pulled in. "Let's see your ring." So, the girl presented her polished finger and displayed a beautiful ring (which btw was still ginormous just not as ginormous as the other girls' ring)... You could see how uncomfortable she was comparing her ring size to the other two. "Oh...(awkward pause) That's...(in unison now)...Cute." That was it...cute...Ladies, come on admit it. "Cute" is the go-to word for when you have no idea what to say...

So here's my issue. These girls were judging each other's worth based on the size of their rings...Then, they judged their own worth based on what feedback they got on their ring. You could see it on their faces...Do you think girl number three was thrilled to see that the first two had HUGE rings that covered nearly the whole bottom half of their friggin fingers? That's a negative. Instead of loving what she had, she envied more and felt awkward presenting what she had been given. Frankly, I think that ridiculously huge rings are fine and all, but why do women really need to have a gargantuan ring? Does it prove your social status? Does it make you feel better? What about when you go into major debt for it?

Maybe you are wondering about my ring, maybe not, but let me just throw this out there. My ring is definitely not the one pictured above...It is a simple ring, three smaller princess cut diamonds with a small band that has small diamonds set in the middle. It is modest, simple, but in every way lovely. Let me tell you more about my ring... When Troy (my hub-a-lub if you didn't know) and I had the marriage talk and things were getting serious, I knew that Troy would eventually get me a ring. BUT, I didn't really even care if I got one or even if it was a fake one for that matter. (I just wanted him to ask me to marry him for goodness sake!) Traditionally, we wear rings because we want others to know we are engaged or married or whatever. But, I could have cared less. I loved Troy. I knew that. And the love I had for him wasn't going to get any bigger with a ring. We were poor students for goodness sake and the last thing I wanted was to take on even more debt for a ring that we couldn't afford in the first place. So, when the day came that Troy presented me with the ring that I have today, I was overjoyed. He had made sacrifices and saved money so that he could buy me a ring. And the best part was, the day that he placed it on my finger, It.Was.Mine. It wasn't bought with credit or other forms of borrowed money. (Unlike the girls previously mentioned who's husbands went into debt and in two of the girl's cases, was still paying it off.) It was purchased with hard work, budgeting and as cheesy as it is, love. The ring I wear isn't a display of how much he thinks I'm worth. I see it as symbol of commitment, compassion, love, understanding, forgiveness and an eternity of working through things together. If this is what a ring symbolizes for others, then why do we sometimes make the mistake of judging other's actual worth based on their ring sizes? Why do some women really want a bigger, shinier ring when they see a friend's ring who's ring is double what she already has? Will it make you more committed? More devoted to your spouse? Admit it. It's materialistic...The sad thing is, diamonds aren't forever...The relationships you have are...

Now, let me reiterate something...I don't believe that you are snobbish, uppity or whatever if you are a woman who has been fortunate to get a gargantuan ring...The sad part comes in when you look at your diamond and think, even for a moment, that you sit in a higher place, or that you are worth more than another because of it...